Manchester United Appoints Mourinho As Club New Coach.... Up Red Devils

Remember you Reed it here first, After so much anticipation and waiting on the part of Manchester United fans, the club has finally signed on former Chelsea coach, Jose Mourinho.

According to Daily Express UK on Friday morning, Mourinho signed a three-year Man United deal worth £48m after six weeks of talks.

The tabloid reports that the Portuguese tactician has signed a pre-contract agreement with Manchester United after the board settled on the Portuguese despite reservations from some directors, including club legend Sir Bobby Charlton.

Quoting Website Football Insider, Daily Express UK claims Mourinho has finally put pen to paper on a three-year deal worth £16million a year at a bumper wage of £308,000 a week in a bid to turn around United’s fortunes next season.

A United source however revealed that the agreement is for Mourinho to take over at Old Trafford in the summer, not before as was being reported. Under Van Gaal the club has garnered a reputation for slow, unattractive football and have slipped up multiple times this term.

United’s latest humiliation came last night losing 2-1 to Danish minnows FC Midtjylland in the Europa League and their hope of a top-four finish in the league is slim.

The nigerian Police Arrests 47 Robbery Suspects, 34 Cult Members In Lagos

The Lagos State Commissioner of Police, Mr Fatai Owoseni, says 47 suspected armed robbers and 34 cultists were arrested in the state from Jan. 2 to Feb. 19.

Parading 25 suspects before newsmen on Friday in Lagos, the police commissioner said the arrested robbery suspects include six Nigerien nationals. Owoseni said the Nigeriens were arrested at about 2:30am on Jan. 29 in a Datsun Sunny car with registration number AKD 163 DW. He said they were on their way to a robbery operation in Ebute Metta area of Lagos.

According to the commissioner, dangerous items recovered from the gang include six cutlasses, one iron cutter and two torchlights.

The police boss said four pump action guns, four double barrel guns, 22 locally-made guns and 43 live catridges were also recovered from other robbery suspects during the period. He said that 27 vehicles were revovered while1,028 hoodlums were arrested during raids of black spots during the period.

The police commissioner said 621 motorcycles were impounded while one robbery suspect was killed during gun fire battle with the police. (NAN)

10 Hilarious Cliches Nigerian Men Often Use To Woo A Lady (must read)

I was having a gist with some babes yesterday when they started making fun of how make awkward approach and this motivated me and therefore, led to the posting of this article. I know that many of us will never admit to see a part of ourselves guilty of these things cheesy

Warning: The fact that you could admit to see a part of yourself guilty of charge does not mean you should throw punches at me oooo cheesy Lemme keep the ball rolling…

1. Your face looks Familiar

This is the commonly used punchline that guys use to approach ladies and grab their attention. Take for example, if a lady schooled at Uniben and the guy that wants to approach her schooled at Lagos State university; the guy will be like; please excuse me, your face looks familiar, are you a law student at Ebonyi State university? From there, convo don start be that

2. Has anyone ever told you how Beautiful you look?

Since ladies like to be flattered, therefore, guys employ all sort of exaggerations when approaching a lady just to her attention. When ladies are being flattered, this will however reduce their chances of being bashed.

3. Are you an okro Seller? How come you keep Drawing me Closer?

As funny as it sounds, I have used it to approach a lady. The guy will walk up the lady and will be like, do you sell okra at all? cos I don’t just know why my heart keeps drawing close to you each time I set my eyes on you

4. Can you spare me a Minute of your Time?

Even if the guy intends to spend two hours of her time, he will always say he only demands one minute of her time. This punchline normally work when the lady is in a hurry. Don’t be surprised that the one minute may turn to five hours if care is not taken.

5. Please can you direct me to my Destination?

Some guys will pretend as if they don’t know their destination and will use that as a leverage to approach a girl. For example, the guy walks up to the lady and he’d be like; hello! Please I’m going to Ekiti and don’t know the right route to take. Please, how far is it? is it possible I trek from Ikeja to Ekiti? Oga go sit down jawe.

6. Do you Stay in this area ?

I’m guilty of this one since I don’t know how to approach a lady. This reminds me when I wanted to woo a new occupant in our house sometime last year. After few months of shyness whether to approach her or not. One day, I took the courage to approach her and I was like, ” wooow!! I never knew we had such a pretty lady in this compound” I further inquired if she stays in this area and she was like whatdafcck !!! Haven’t you been seeing me?

7. You are too Pretty to be walking under this scorching Sun.

This statement is used when a guy is driving and spots a lady. This is to blow a lady’s mind and make her look like a goddess. The guy would be like, hello angel, you are too pretty to be walking under this intense sun. Can I give u a lift?

8. God Said you are my Wife

This method is used by religious zealous. Since they walk in realm of the Holy spirit, they often see revelations of the future happenings and this is not limited to future happenings but also their future wife. When the Holy spirit shows to them the picture of future wives, they will go directly to the lady and will tell her that God showed to me that you are my future wife. Funny enough, some smart guys who don’t even know the route to church also adopt this format that the Holy spirit revealed to them to woo a particular lady.

9. Hi ! Can we be Friends?

Guys use this format so that the lady will not think they are up to something. The funniest thing is that, the person who said he only wanted to be a friend will her end up wooing her few days later.

10. Feel free to add yours

A Man has been Robbed Of His Gold Teeth In Broad Daylight

A 38-year-old man was punched and knocked to the ground in broad daylight by two muggers who proceeded to steal his gold teeth in San Francisco’s Financial District, police said Friday.

The street robbery occurred at California and Kearny streets around 4 p.m. Thursday when the two attackers came up from behind the victim and punched him in the face, knocking him down, police said.

The thieves then kicked the man while he was on the ground, police said. The attackers also took the victim’€™s cell phone and ripped the gold caps out of his mouth before fleeing the scene on foot, according to police. The victim also suffered a swollen eye and abrasions to the knee and was taken to the hospital. Police have yet to make any arrests.

photos of burnt bed, sheets & phones, police warns of dangers of charging cellphones under pillows

NYPD 33RD Precinct shared the photos on their twitter account. "Dont' put your cellphone under a pillow while sleeping or when charging your device. Please share this tip and be safe" they warned.

Caitlin Jenner files a trademark to launch makeup line.

Caitlyn Jenner wants to launch her own makeup line. According to TMZ, she recently filed a trademark for exclusive rights to hawk makeup under her name. "It's not just cosmetics ... Jenner's application covers fragrances, makeup remover, nail polish, and skin care. Cait doesn't have a clear plan on how or when she will break into the beauty business. She wanted to secure the trademark before anyone else got the idea."

6 lions escape from National Park, one caught, 5 still missing (warning alert)

The Kenya Wildlife Service (KWS) is looking for about six lions on the loose from the Nairobi National Park. The lions are believed to have escaped to Lang’ata, which is adjacent to the park today. KWS Corporate Communications Officer Paul Udoto said they were not certain of the number of the lions. "The lions were part of the wild population and we are depending on the public to report if they sight them," he said.

The wildlife service has advised any person who spots the lions to call KWS. Mr Udoto said the KWS was aware that a lioness had cubbed on the border of Lang'ata Barracks and the park and was monitoring the situation.

"However, this morning we were called at 4am and told that some two lionesses, we believe, including the new mother, had been seen on the road near Lang'ata Hospital. We responded immediately. But we have not been able to track them down," he explained. He said another call was made by a member of the public at around 5am claiming to have come across the lions at the bypass near the National Housing Corporation in Lang'ata.

"We are still combing through this area," Meanwhile, in an update, the said that one of the lions (pictured) has been caught in Kibera.