The Six Kinds Of People You Will Find In A Church In Naija

I have been observing people in my church for a long time and I have made a list of the various kinds of people you find in a typical Nigerian church.

1. The first set of people are called the Bible Scholars
They are always very serious, writing everything the pastor says, and nodding their head every now and then. I was shocked to see a brother by my side today writing everything the pastor said including the “praise the lord”, “amen” e.t.c they are always waving their hands and shouting yess at any little thing the pastor says.

2. The second set of people are called the talkers
All they do is to talk. Sometimes I wonder if there is pepper in their mouth as they just talk and laugh loudly. They wouldnt even hide it as they talk loudly and laugh carelessly. Sometimes it takes the intervention of the ushers to separate the two talkatives or group chatters. Once, a pastor on the altar shouted “Shut Up” on a girl from the congregation out of reflex action due to her endless talking…

3. The Sleepers
this set of people sleep through out the service. They can be found at vintage points near the fans or a.c. They would then bow their heads and sleep off and when the ushers wake them up, they would insist that they were only sleeping, there was one minister that layed down on the floor all in the name of praying with anointing and he went to chibok from there…

4. Walkers
This set of people can walk from lagos to port harcourt. All they do is to go in and out of the church. They cant sit down comfort ably for 5 minutes. They always have something to do either to change money for offering or to buy tom tom and baba blue. You would hear them saying words like, sorry, pls excuse me, get your bag out of the way e.t.c. An elder in my church had to slap one brother like that because he was always going in and out, disturbing the woman. ..

5. The Eaters
People that belong to this group are fond of eating. Their mouth is always closed but moving rapidly. I could not beleive my eyes last wheek when I saw a woman, a choir member for that matter eating corn at the front row during service sshe brought differnt items from her bag like corn, plantain, e.t.c and was eating it stupidly to the amazement of the church members, the pastors wife had to seize her bags…

6. Frosh Kidz
This people come to church with a lo t of pride. They dress as if they are going to see Buhari. They also apply a lot of heavy make up (for girls). They dress extravagantly with all the latest dress or clothes reigning even though they don’t have money. They would now start forming british accent. They wear all type of jwellry, head chain , neck chain, hand chain, waist chain, leg chain e.t.c.

They usually come very late for notice me purpose holding their heads high and holding the latest technological gadgets in their hands as they catwalk to their seat hoping to impress that boy/girl they have been crushing on…. Add Yours – Drop your Comments.